Record Breaker

Hey AGAIN!!!! I’ve broken my own record!  Three entries in one day?  WOW!!!  Yeah...I really meant what I said in my last entry...I mean most of you have read my blog entries since the very beginning...And some of you just popped up out of no where, so I wanted to send special thanks to you, I mean...Well...Like Vicki, you popped up and welcomed me to my teenage years, that made me really happy!  It’s odd isn’t it?  How people who don’t really know eachother can be happy for one another?

Remember how in April of last year I wrote an entry talking about how I didn’t believe in God?  Now, believe me my beliefs are still the same, although Dad says I’m not a true Atheist since I DO believe in some things...Just not God, the Devil, Heaven, and Hell...Although there may possibly be two different areas in the afterlife...One for criminals...and one for normal people....I don’t know anything, of course you’re not supposed to know anything about the afterlife...It’s a mystery and everyone has to wait until they die to find out what the afterlife is like...or if there is one at all...It’s annoying, though, isn’t it?  All these thoughts about the afterlife?  Sometimes...I get scared....I get too wrapped up in the wonder and mystery of life and death and I get confused...Sometimes I’ve even asked myself what my purpose for living is...I mean...actually....I don’t know....what...I mean....

Sometimes I wonder...I know I’m not afraid of Death really...I mean it IS just a whole new adventure...But...Sometimes....I get...Frightened....Frightened by the realization that my life...one life in general...means absolutely...Nothing…

How could one life mean anything?  It’s not like everyone else’s lives stop because one person...one nobody...dies...I mean yeah, we make a big deal out of it, and sometimes it gets put on the local news...but...Do we stop living?  Does the rest of the world stop moving forward because of the loss of one insignificant person?  No.  We move on....And, over time, we forget....I’m not saying that we forget the deaths of our own PERSONAL loved ones...but...We do forget the deaths of those with lives that seem insignificant to us...Don’t we?  Do we really remember all the deaths we’ve ever heard about?  Like the person who sits next to you in class...Do you remember anyone close to them that died?

The sad thing is...We remember people like George Washington, but we don’t remember the soldiers in the continental army who died or anybody else who hadn’t done anything big enough to seem significant in the past to make us who we are...To tell the truth, it wasn’t just the famous people of the past that made a difference...What they did would mean nothing at all...Had not all those other non-famous people backed them up and helped them...The men who signed the United States Constitution...What they did doesn’t mean much...Yeah they did do big stuff, but what about the other people in the first thirteen colonies...They did stuff too, it may have been small, but…

Although the realization that one life means nothing in frightening, attempting to imagine what death is like...The results are even more frightening...Usually I end up with an abyss...A pitch black hole, devoid of life, happiness, everything I know....Curiosity has made me want to delve deeper into my imagination to see what it would come up with...But the abyss always causes me to hold back…

Now...I have to get back on my train of thoughts...Ok, back to the entry in April of last year...Well, anyways I got a good question from one of the people who commented on that entry...I’m sorry I didn’t answer right away, but…

KricketChick asked, and I quote, “But, I must say...you know how they say that the world came from one single atom? One that erupted, and formed the whole world and everything in it? I have a question. Where did that one atom come from? Certainly there is reason to believe that God did that?”

I have gone over a lot of conversations about space and the universe with my father in my mind and I talked about this with him a lot...The question “Where did the Universe come from?” had started a conversation that led to talking about other dimensions and universes…

We talked about the possibility that there was something BIGGER than the universe and that something had happened to create the universe...the galaxy and everything else...There are millions of questions that I can think of that haven’t yet or can’t be answered...I know how the planets were created...But stuff like Pluto and the asteroid belt...I have questions about what happened and how they were formed...Even about the Sun and the Moon...My father told me that it was theorized that Jupiter may possibly be a failed Sun...I have questions about practically everthing in our little solar system...Like why is Neptune on its side?  And why do some planets have rings?  And...I’ll stop there, if I go on I won’t be able to stop the stream of questions I have…

Dad and I theorized that there could possibly be something bigger than the Universe out there...That there could very possibly be other Universes and Dimensions...When I thought about the possibility that there could be something bigger than the Universe and that the Universe was contained in something made me think...Is there something bigger than this something the Universe is possibly in?  And if so does it continue on and on for eternity?  Or does it end?  One thing my imagination came up with...And this was REALLY scarey was that the abyss the Universe might be in was contained in a little musical snow globe thingie and what I found even scarier...My imagination came up with this scene the abyss the Universe might be in was contained in a musical snow globe...And that snow globe was in the hand of a small child, who was holding his mother’s hand with his free one...But the imaginational vision usually ends with the snowglobe in a child’s hand…

Another scarey imaginational (I KNOW this isn’t a grammatically correct word!  But, who CARES???  It was the only word I could come up with to describe the vision-like thing I was trying to describe!) vision is that the abyss the Universe might be contained in...Or the Universe itsself, depends on whether the theory is correct, of course we don’t know how to prove that theory right or wrong, so whatever, back to what I was saying...is contained in a circular diamond, which is on a chain, which is around the neck of what looks like an 8 or 9 year old girl who is standing next to an identical girl wearing an identical diamond on a chain around her neck...And I always want to know who they are...Fate and Destiny?  Life and Death?

But that’s only what my imagination has conjured up....If there is something bigger than the Universe out there...I would like to know what caused the energy that had been compressed into the size of the ball on a pin to blow up and create the universe...I would also like to know why space is black...Then again, there are a million things I want to know...One last thing I would like to ask and then you can leave…

When will we stop asking unanswerable questions and answer them?