So very, very frustrating.
Sometimes I think that the reason I’m so good at sinking into books, or why I love gaia so much is that real life is so very frustrating. In a piece of writing, you usually know what almost everyone is thinking. In real life, you don’t.
Maybe it’s all just an escape from reality for me. But reality really sucks sometimes. This is my own fault more often than not. And each time, though I get frustrated and angry with my parents, I’m usually angrier with myself. It’s really hard to explain. On the outside, I’m angry with my parents. On the inside I’ m hating myself for being a teenager. For continuously being irresponsible, a procrastinator and a screw-up. For not trying hard enough. I know, better than my parents, what I can do. I know that I can do better than I sometimes do. Every time I fail, I’m reminded that I’m just spiraling down.
For every step I take forward, I seem to take two steps back.
And I hate it.